February 14, 2009

Valentine’s Day Funnies

Here are some funny Valentine’s Day articles (with some of my commentary) I found while checking my mail on Yahoo. Single or in a relationship, I hope you get a few laughs out of these.

Dating Guide: 10 Great Things About Being Single on Valentine's Day

1. It's a great excuse to get crazy with your closest girlfriends. Not that we need an excuse. (No thanks)

2. You can spend it with the hottest, funniest, and smartest person you know -- you. (I guess I am all those things, thanks for reminding me!)

3. There's no better night to pick up guaranteed-single men at the bar. (No thanks)

4. You can see if you really can make it through the whole winter without shaving your legs. (No thanks, though this does make me laugh!)

5. You don't have to listen to anyone's "Valentine's Day is just a made-up commercial holiday, blah blah blah" speech. (LOL that speech = cheap boyfriend)

6. It's the perfect day to blow your New Year's resolution to eat healthy by buying yourself a box of chocolates -- Godiva, not supermarket-brand. (Yum!)

7. There's no better time to practice some self-love with a shopping spree. (Shopping! Count me in!)

8. You're not spending it with that idiot you spent last Valentine's Day with. (I had no date last year too, thanks for reminding me!)

9. It's perfectly acceptable to spend the day working late and to eat Chinese take-out for dinner in your extra-large fleece pajamas. (I love pajamas)

10. You don't have to smile through gritted teeth when you get novelty underwear as a gift. (LOL)

Dating Gripes: Ten Things We Hate About Valentine's Day

1. The Reservations. Single or coupled, if you didn't make a reservation in January, your options for going out to dinner are limited to the local fast food drive-through. (Um… so not true!)

2. The Greeting Cards. The hour of our lives we waste every year in the greeting card aisle, looking for the perfect one. (Who takes an hour looking for a card?)

3. The Flower Fund. The overnight tripling of the price of roses, forcing your boyfriend to choose between getting you a bouquet of a dozen or paying his cable bill that month. (It hardly triples in price, exaggeration much?)

4. The TV Schedule. The 24/7 romantic comedy marathon on TV during the month of February either makes you feel like a loser for being single or makes you resent your boyfriend for not being John Cusack. (I like romantic comedies!)

5. The Relationship Conversation. If you've had anything resembling a date in the past two months, it always prematurely launches the "where is this going?" conversation. (LOL)

6. The Girls'-Night Cliche. If you're single and lucky enough to have three close, single girlfriends, you can't go out in the town with them without being a cliche. (LOL I don’t have 3 single girlfriends)

7. The Generic Gifts. We don't need another stuffed teddy bear holding a heart or a cheap box of "guess the mystery filling" chocolates, thanks. (SOOOO true!)

8. The Absent Cards. They don't make Valentine's Day cards for friends-with-benefits or "I think I like you but it's too soon to tell." (LMAO)

9. The Bills. We just started paying off our credit card bills from holiday shopping -- our bank statements can't handle another gift. (Again, quite true!)

10. The Hearts. Those gross taste-like-sidewalk-chalk conversation hearts. (LOL yeah, those aren’t the best tasting candies by far)

For those of you who hate Valentine’s Day, you are not alone! Check out Beware the 14th of February article to get your fix.


Melanie:) said...

I hate those conversation hearts....

And they say the cheesiest things like... "Fax Me.''

The Garver Family said...

Ok, so maybe I shouldn't be commenting on this because I do have a Valentine, oh well. I thought most of your input on these were better than the actual observations themselves. You are a funny lady.

About the conversation heart thing...ya...my husband ate 1/2 POUND of those nasty things today...so gross.

Liz said...

OMGosh..... #1 on Ten Things We Hate About Valentine's Day almost happened to us tonight. It was awful! The others were so funny!

insomniaclolita said...

chinese take out, chocolates on dvds. HOW amazing :)

ps. but ill say yes please to a night partying and checking out hot guys lol

BIBI said...

Haha! Great post. Love your comments. :)