December 11, 2008

Funny Stuff

This was sent to me from my Grandma. She often sends us funny jokes, stories or other oddities that are given to her from my Aunt. Here is one that isn’t too perverted…

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As I Mature…

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’re finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this along to 5 friends… trust me, they’ll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not… tough shit.

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Yes, my grandma sent that to us! Hope you got a few good laughs out of it – I did!


Anonymous said...

That is too funny! You have a cool grandma to send you such things!

Jen said...

Very funny!

*Akilah Sakai* said...

I must say...and no one can deny this...your grandma ROCKS!!

An enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing!

Sheri said...

My grandma (I call her Nana though) rocks indeed! :)

BIBI said...

HAHAHA! Your Grandma sounds like a barrel of fun. I would love to make her acquaintance one day.